if you were with me tonight
i'd sing to you just one more time
a song for a heart so big god wouldn't let it live
-- Jimmy Eat World's "Hear You Me"

My Aunt J (dad's sister) passed away on Saturday. I'm not sure how I feel about her passing. Long before she was diagnosed with breast cancer Aunt J suffered from mental illness. I won't go into detail other than to say that most of my memories of Aunt Joan aren't happy ones. I know that her brothers did not speak to her before she died.

I'm sad that I don't have better memories. I'm glad that my mom tells the story of how she met my dad's family before she met my dad. Aunt J actually invited my mother a day spa and spent much of the time telling my mother about her wonderful little brother. I'm crushed that my dad and his brother didn't pick up a phone a few months ago. I'm devastated for my little cousins, R & S. They're not children, but they're still too young to be saying goodbye to their mom. I'm hopeful that my Aunt J is in a place with no pain or unhappiness.